
How do we know docs have a sense of humor? Because sometimes we get the before and after pictures, like these of Dr. Donald Kassebaum, M.D. You can see what he has to say for himself in his oral history interview.
OHSU Library Historical Collections & Archives

Dear Dorothy,
For the past several dozen years, as you well know, I've been goofing off up here on the Hill. I feel the time has come that you become more aware of how this was possible.
It was very simple, I instructed my secretary to inform all callers and visitors that I was in an important meeting. What I was actually doing was counting the number of blades of grass per square foot outside my window. This provided me with an excellent opportunity to do an important research project that I've long wanted to complete. For your information there is, and I believe I'm correct, 9,321,451 blades per square foot. As you know this will be very helpful to us in reseeding our lawn when I retire. I would appreciate it if you would begin soon to count how many grass seeds are in each pound so that we can plan our reseeding along a scientific basis.
Back to the subject at hand. Our PR director, that nut Ken Niehans, has come up with the idea that we ought to invite all the wives of the members of our Advancement Fund Board to lunch and show them around. He's always been a trouble causer but since he has tenure there isn't much I can do. He has the wild idea that such an activity will lead to the wives discussing the needs of the Medical School in their homes. As I mentioned earlier, he's a real nut.
In any case I'd rather not hurt his feelings so I want to ask you to go along with him and ask that you, Dottie Zimmerman and Dwyn Anne Adams to serve as unofficial hostesses for the event.
Well, back to your becoming more aware of my activities on the Hill, I want to invite you and a guest of your choice (make it someone who thinks I've really been working) to join us on campus Wednesday March 20 for an informal luncheon and a short tour of some of our facilities.
If you could arrive at the Administration Building by 11:30 we would like to present a brief overview of our programs here at the School before having lunch. Following the luncheon we plan a visit to our perinatal division and our newborn intensive care unit. The faculty members in charge of these areas will be on hand to tell you about them and answer any questions you may have. The planned activities should be over about 2:30 p.m.
Enclosed is a card and a return envelope which you may use to signify your attendance. At a later date we will send additional information relative to parking and where we will meet.
We do hope that you and your guest (now be sure you choose the right one) will be able to join other wives of our Advancement Fund Board members and their guests for this campus visit.
Sincerely,
Charles N. Holman, M.D.
Dean
He entered the British army and was stationed with the Cree Indian tribe in northwest Canada where he remained seven years. During the Boer war he served as a medical officer in Africa with the rank of major, and at the close of the war was one of several British professional men sent on confidential missions to various areas of the world.Now THAT would have been a great collection of personal papers!
In 1904 he opened his medical office in Seattle.... During World War I he was a medical officer with the British army in France with the rank of colonel....
He then became head of the British passport control service in New York where he stayed until his retirement in 1934.... In 1942 he came to Portland as an instructor at Hill Military academy.
Dr. Strath-Gordon was the founder of the Atlantean Research society and was a 33d degree Mason from the mother lodge in Scotland. He had a working knowledge of 32 languages and was a proficient scholar of Sanskrit.
ASH: .... So you were here with Monte Greer. Can you tell me something about him?
KENDALL: Well, Monte's a very interesting scientist. He was a leader in the field at that time who did some of the first work on the brain effects on the endocrine system. He was the first to discover the zone of the brain that helps to control the thyroid gland, for example. And he also isolated a naturally occurring substance in cabbage and things like that that causes goiter, a large amount of thyroid.
So he was a good scientist, and a very good teacher in the sense that he was an excellent critic. And so he came here as the second head of Endocrinology. .... A very good teacher, that’s what I’d say about him. A very good critic....
Monte finally drove me into administration. He was such a terrible administrator that he drove me into becoming a better administrator [laughing], and that's why I ended up actually spending a lot of my career in administrative posts, because he was such a poor role model. I'm not decrying him; he was superb as a scientist and superb as a teacher, but he couldn’t administer his way out of a paper bag, and you can quote that.
ASH: Now, did you help him administer, or you just learned from him what not to do?
KENDALL: A little of both. I got an NIH grant early in my career, and I went out and hired a consultant to come and help us straighten out our lab. Well, administration—I spent a thousand bucks of the money. Next thing I found myself down in the Dean's Office at the time... and the administrator there saying I committed a horrible crime by spending the money on an administrative consultant instead of on the science. And I said, "Listen, that money will do more than any other money will to do make science move forward."
So anyway, we got the consultant, and he came in and told us that we should have one person answer the phones, and we should file everything alphabetically [laughs].
ASH: This is not brain surgery.
KENDALL: It was the fundamentals of administration. And I kid Monte about it, so I don’t care if he hears this because it’s, A, the truth, and B, we enjoy jabbing at one another.